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Introducing Lennon McCarthy

Lennon

The quotes are:

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

"It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am." -Muhammad Ali

"We know you will not only be a contender, but a champion in whatever challenges come your way." - Mommy & Daddy

The Price of Gas is Currently at ...oh, it just went up!

I feel like I should pull my pants up to just below my armpits and with my hands on my hips and my belly sticking out start ranting about everything that is wrong in the world of capitalism. But, I have no time. I have things to buy. So I'll just complain a little.

The price of gas is crazy! Crazy as in too high and crazy as in changing every 5 minutes it seems. I remember the good old days when it was around 57-60 cents a litre. Oh right, that was only last year! Well they've managed to convince us that 70+ cents is cheap and that 80+ cents is still a bargain.

Some people, like Bill McMitchum, have gone to extreme measures to avoid high gas prices. I am seriously considering buying a horse.

The more I think about it the more sense it makes. I know horses are fairly expensive to purchase and fees for food, shelter, shoes, vet bills, etc, can add up, but I am sure they cost less than gas, vehicle maintenance and excessive insurance costs. I have actually done some research into buying a horse.

My commute to work is only about 6km one way, so I won't even have to get up much earlier in the mornings. I have been weighing the pros and cons:

Pros
- horses work for hay and can actually save me a few lawnmowing days.
- no more worrying about the price of gas.
- bypassing traffic and/or any accidents will become a breeze.
- I will probably lose weight as there will be no need to stop at any gas stations, thus eliminating the opportunity to purchase products mainly comprised of sugar and preservatives.
- I can break out my old Village People Cop Costume and pretend I am on patrol. Just kidding of course; I have the Indian costume.
- a horse can also be a friend.
- my new elevated viewpoint may provide some interesting viewing.
- I can start a side business selling items made out of horseshoes.

Cons
- it will probably get a little chilly in the winter.
- carpooling is out.
- no CD player. Although I could...nah...no CD player.
- deciding on a horse could be difficult. 14hh? 15hh? Who can decide?
- my new odor may be a con for my coworkers who must share an office with me in a supposedly scent-free environment.

An interesting point is that our city bylaws (like most I'm sure) require that owners pick up after their pets, but this does not apply to horse owners. I occasionally see horse manure on the side of the road.

I think I may go see a man about a horse.

The Best Bonus in the Poker World

Hey guys, I came across this topic on a couple of forums and it seems that a lot of players are giving it a try. Apparently the site has been around for awhile in the backgammon world and is now getting into poker. They are offering a 1000% bonus on your initial deposit of $500 dollars or less. That means you could deposit $500 and get a bonus of $5000. They also give you 365 days to get that bonus. Here are some details from the site:

Bonus Bucks!

GamesGrid Poker offers the largest bonus payout in the world. Sure we could pay movie stars or professionals to pimp our site, but why give them our money? To be honest, we'd rather give it to our players. Earn a 1000% Bonus (that's 10x) on your first deposit, up to a maximum of a $5000 bonus on a $500 deposit. Yes, really. And yes, you really can earn it.

First deposit money to your GamesGrid account, and choose wisely! The 1,000% bonus applies to your first deposit only (or first deposit after the launch of Poker if you're already a 'Gridder). Then convert those Bonus Bucks to real cold cash by earning Frequent Player Points while playing for money in either raked money games or tournaments with registration fees.

Details
GamesGrid wants to see you earn your bonus! Every day, for every five FPPoints you earn, we give you $1 cash—making it among the fastest earned bonuses on the 'net. And it's not an all-or-nothing Bonus—we pay you $5 at a time, directly to your account, until you've earned your entire bonus, or your unearned dollars reach their expiration date.
Any unearned portion of the bonus is forfeit 365 days after initial deposit. (And honestly, you can't really have had better things to do for a whole year, right?)
Earn Frequent Player Points (FPPs) with each raked hand, according to the following schedule:
rake points earned
$0.00 - $0.49 0.00
$0.50 - $0.99 0.25
$1.00 - $1.99 0.50
$2.00 - $2.99 0.75
$3.00 - 1.00

If you are dealt cards in a hand and the hand is raked, you receive FPPs. You do not have to put money in the pot yourself. Yet another reason to rejoice when you see action on your table while waiting for your next hand.

Tournaments are less complicated. You get two bonus points for every dollar you pay in tourney registration fees. For example, a $10+1 tournament would give you two FPPoints.


Your mileage may vary. Stud games take longer per hand than Hold'em. But short-handed games go much faster than full table games. Remember, any money you convert is yours and yours to keep, regardless of whether you convert your entire bonus. Also note that if you run out of cash, you can re-deposit and still earn against your old bonus. (In your case we sincerely hope this is a purely hypothetical situation.)

They also have a promotion where players can sign up as Very Frequent Players where you actually get paid to play poker. Here are the details:

Very Frequent Players

Our Very Frequent Players (VFPs) get paid to play poker. It works simply: you play with your own money and you're paid three big blinds of whatever Hold 'Em or Omaha game (three small bet sizes in Stud) game you play per hour. For example, play in $3/6 Hold 'Em would pay $9/hour; $0.25/$0.50 would pay $0.75/hr. Here are the caveats:

You have to play at least 10 hours per week (from midnight Sunday to midnight Sunday) to qualify for VFP payment. Once you do, you're paid for the exact amount of time you played (e.g. if you played 15 hours and 10 minutes, you're paid for 15 hours and 10 minutes) during that week.
You may play at more than one table at a time and your pay is multiplied accordingly.
The amount you can earn is capped at $12/hr per table (e.g. $10/20 Hold 'Em pays $12/hr, not $30/hr).
You are paid directly to your GamesGrid account weekly.
You are playing under the invitation of GamesGrid, this means you must act as a good poker citizen on the 'Grid. Abusive behavior of any type is grounds for being removed from the program.
Playing less than 10 hours in any given week does not automatically drop you from the program.
VFP payment applies to ring games only, not tournaments.
You must be dealt cards to qualify as being timed for that hand. Time sitting out does not earn a VFP payment.
VFPs are eligible for deposit bonuses and affiliate referrals.
We reserve the right to change these rules at any time—if they do change, you'll be notified by E-mail.

There's no charge to enter the program, so really, there's no reason not to be a VFP. To apply, all you need do is sign up.

If you do choose to sign up I would appreciate if you used monkey as your referral as I think we both get a bonus of some sort.

Poker Mountain Sucks More Than I Thought

After being "removed" from their mailing list, Poker Mountain sent me another email. I know they have the backing of Daniel Negreanu and T.J. Cloutier, but does this site really have a chance at surviving with all the other options players have?

Here is the newest email. Will there be more? Tune in next time.

Turn $200 into the dream of a lifetime by qualifying for the World Poker Tour Championship in Las Vegas. Join us at Poker Mountain on Saturday, April 9th at 3:30 p.m. Eastern for our Final Qualifying tournament. Buy in directly for $200 - the winner receives a $25,000 entry to the WPT championship, round trip travel, lodging at Bellagio and a private coaching session with our hosts Daniel Negreanu and T.J. Cloutier. No juice and no catch! Poker Mountain is charging no fee for this event. The entire $200 goes into the prize pool, and airfare and travel costs are paid entirely by us. We look forward to seeing you on the Mountain for this special event on Saturday. If you have any questions, please write us at support@pokermountain

I wonder if seating is limited?

I'm Buying a Horse

The price of gas is making me nauseous. I will have more to post on this topic after I vomit.

Poker Mountain Sucks!

Here is an email "conversation" I recently had with Poker Mountain. This is not the only issue I have had with this site.

Poker Mountain
Join us at Poker Mountain for a pure $500 freeroll. No entry fee is required, all players are welcome, whether you have a real money account or a play money account. The tournament starts at 9:00 p.m. Eastern (6:00 p.m. Pacific) on Thursday, April 7th. We'll see you on the Mountain! Send comments or questions to support@pokermountain.com

Me
I am extremely disappointed as I received this email today and spent most of the day letting everyone on fullcontactpoker.com know about the freeroll tonight, but am unable to participate due to a limit of 500 players. I was unable to register while at work and therefore had to wait until I got home. Little did I know, because nowhere is it mentioned in the email, that registration would be limited to the first 500 people.

Poker Mountain
Dear Dale,
Thank you for playing at pokermountain.com
Every tournament has a limited number of players and they fill up faster based on the interest the tournament brings to players. We apologize for missing this information on the email, we will make sure it doesn't happen again.
Please let us know if we can further assist you.
Regards
Leo
Poker Mountain Support

Me
Please close my account. My user name is DigitalMonkey. Thank you!

Poker Mountain
Dear Dale,
Your account will remain open until the system closes for non usage. In the meantime your email address has been taken off the mailing list.
Please let us know if we can further assist you.
Regards
Leo
Poker Mountain Support

What To Do Do?

This is how it is:

There is a dog in the neighbourhood that likes to tear apart my garbage and shit all over my lawn. It seems his owner, rather than walking him in the mornings, likes to just open the door and let him take care of things on his own. Now, ideally I would like to get a hold of this owner and shove his dog up his ass, but I don't know where the dog, or the owner for that matter, lives. Call me picky, but I just don't want my kids playing in dogshit. And I hate picking up soiled diapers that have been chewed to pieces. Indiosyncrasies, I know. So I have come up with four possible solutions.

1. Get up very early in the morning and follow the dog to see where he lives. Then I will scoop up the shit with a shovel and deliver it to the owner's doorstep.

2. Call the city to send out the dogcatcher to witness this shit and catch the dog.

3. Catch the dog and rape him thus scaring him into never wanting to leave the house again.

4. Kill the little f*cker with a bowl of antifreeze.

The first option is not really an option because it seems like a lot of work and cuts into my sleep which is not a good thing considering I'm usually up until 2 or 3 in the morning playing poker and then have to go to work. I could do it on the weekend because with a 2 year old daughter and an 8 month old son, I'm usually up early anyway, but it does seem like too much work, although the shovel of shit on the doorstep may be worth it. I will not totally dismiss this option yet.

The second option will probably be as effective as vaseline on a herpes infection. The city can't even fix the roads and they're gonna send someone out to catch a dog shitting on someone's lawn..yeah, we'll have someone out there first thing in the morning sir.

Option three is risky as there is the slight chance that the dog may enjoy being sodomized as he already associates my property with anal activities.

The fourth option is an old standard. It is illegal, cheap, and requires virtually no effort on my part. Can you see which way I'm leaning here?

But seriously, I'm thinking of sending an open letter to the local rag suggesting that owners take responsibility for their pets. Hopefully, this will suffice and killing the dog will not be necessary. I shall keep you posted.

Here is a thread on FullContactPoker that was started with this post.